this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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