Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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