if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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