why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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