She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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