it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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