I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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