My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
