Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no you cant smoke seaweed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
