I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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