Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
