I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
