I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
