I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
