I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
