I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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