the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
