meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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