He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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