i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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