I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
