i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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