allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Screwed.edu
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize