gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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