my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
