I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
