Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He better not be in your backpack
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
