YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
fuck your aforementioned shoe
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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