he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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