I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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