Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How external is "for external use only"?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
