This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
