I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
