So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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