I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
