when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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