discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
