hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
