after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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