This girl is more easily done than said...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
