As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
