hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
