She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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