Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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  (408): No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles. http://tfl.nu/hp1m
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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  (989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0
  Replies (22) Good night (4432) Bad night (852)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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  (214): He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome. http://tfl.nu/msec
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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  (636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life http://tfl.nu/x73d
  Replies (45) Good night (8380) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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  (707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2
  Replies (20) Good night (962) Bad night (4885) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

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  (914): he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3 http://tfl.nu/cutl
  Replies (32) Good night (5254) Bad night (1582) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break

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  (301): she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break http://tfl.nu/l0jq
  Replies (19) Good night (5218) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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  (970): you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you. http://tfl.nu/kcuf
  Replies (12) Good night (2237) Bad night (3285) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

  (1-925): View more from California

  Yes. Yes it is.

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  (925): Is snow just God skeeting all over the place?? (1-925): Yes. Yes it is. http://tfl.nu/ofba
  Replies (12) Good night (4203) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

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  (817): They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great http://tfl.nu/5yg0
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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  (405): You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's. http://tfl.nu/922r
  Replies (9) Good night (4032) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.

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  (630): it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this. http://tfl.nu/3ewp
  Replies (11) Good night (4046) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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  (512): We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping" http://tfl.nu/lb53
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  (+33): View more from France

  We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?

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  (+33): We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be? http://tfl.nu/rs8r
  Replies (15) Good night (2068) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.

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  (334): I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now. http://tfl.nu/gi33
  Replies (2) Good night (214) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt

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