you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance