I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.