No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.