wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
