addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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