just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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