even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
