In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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