3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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