Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
