That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
