I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
