Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
