So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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