no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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