the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
