hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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