I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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