she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
