Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize