Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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