38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my shit smells like andre
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
