umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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