i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
