New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
