I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
