We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
